Vacation x 2

We went on our first family vacation last year to San Diego, and it was sensational, EXHAUSTING, but sensational.  You know vacationing with kids is anything but relaxing, but the memories are more than worth the puffy purple bags under my eyes in all the pictures, right? I thought so too.

So this year we decided to change it up and go up to Northern California, and visit Santa Cruz, San Fransisco, Monterrey, and San Luis Obispo.  We knew instead of swimming in the pool we'd be bundled up all day, but hey the scenery would make up for it, right?

Yeah it totally did.  Did you know that there are places in California where there is open space? I didn't.  I had never known that towns has spaces in between them, and not all cities had over 100,000 residents in them. I had no idea that there were trees near the beach besides Palm and Eucalyptus trees. And that they can be really green! AND OVERLY ABUNDANT! And the the clear blue parts of the ocean, and the rivers, and lakes we passed along the way took my breathe away.  Where we stayed in Santa Cruz was right by the beach, but unlike my home town of HB right next to the beach didn't mean 5 million people on the streets and sidewalks and beaches.  It was calm, and slow and quiet.  Did I mention slow? I didn't feel rushed to move from one thing to the next to the next. It was fantastic.  It was so different from the OC/LA culture I have grown up in.

I am a girl with deep hearty roots here in my home, not because of my home necessarily but because of the family (extended and church) that I have here.  I have often quipped before that I would gladly move anywhere if my family would just up and move with me. But I couldn't shake the feeling of, I would gladly move here, in a heartbeat.  I mean I would miss my family something awful, but I would be happy to be where I was too.  Not to say that I am not happy here in the OC, but the quiet peaceful beauty of the coast was just inviting. Like a nap under warm blankets on a cold rainy day.

But a sharp contrast to the beauty of where we stayed was part of our trip on the 101.  I am not a big Steinbeck fan, all his work always made me feel sad and cold and alone.  I like a good sad story in a book, but his stories affected me weird.  (I guess they did their job, right?) Well, driving through the farm lands on central California reminded me of the Grapes of Wrath and Of Mice and Men, and left me feeling oppressed and sad.  I really was so happy to reach Monterrey, where it felt peaceful, not dank and heavy.  I mean the fields were beautiful, and the vineyards gorgeous, but the feeling of them being filled with over-worked underpaid people made me sad. 

And after realizing there was a Mission in Santa Cruz we decided to make it educational for Serena, being that next year as a 4th grader she will be learning all about the Missions...and what more could help her want to learn that having been to a few of them right? So we went to the Mission site, which was beautiful, just as the city of Santa Cruz is beautiful.  But then Serena asked me what the Missions were about and I had to tell her the good things and the bad things. The Salvation that was brought by some amazing men who actually cared about the souls of the Natives, and the awful people who mistreated, enslaved and annihilated most of them. The Mission was a site to see, really.  There is nothing like looking at living history, but to know that so many bad things were done in God's name was heartbreaking.  We actually stopped on the way home to see the Mission in San Luis Obispo as well, so that by time she starts learning about them, she will have already been to three of them (we plan to go to San Juan Capistrano this summer). It even gave us a reason to head to the library and check out books other than Ramona and Junie B Jones (not that those are bad, but educational books tickle my fancy quite a bit, I love to absorb knew knowledge and I hope to pass that on to my kids) and we checked out 3 books on Missions.  One on San Luis Obispo, one on Santa Cruz and one on the Southern California Missions so we can prep for our future visit to Capistrano.  But then again the books show the very sad oppressive way the Natives were treated by some Friars and most of the Soldiers at the Presidios.

So I guess Northern California isn't a prefect Utopia; it has it's dark under belly as well.  But man do I crave that slow pace like I craved Wendy's Frosty's as a pregnant woman. If only I could find a way to being that Serenity here...

He loves me...

Last week was a week in which I felt like I was riding a unicycle, and balancing 500 things in each hand, dripping sweat and trying not to fall. The week was busy, Girl Scouts, cookie sales, t-ball practice, uniform fitting, not to mention the normal stuff: Serena in school, Daddy in school,  work and softball.  But that's not why I was a wreck. 

I was waiting. 

Waiting on test results to see if my precious little 4 year old was going to have to have surgery, or start new meds to fix her urinary tract issues.  I was fully prepared to hear the terrible news that the tests showed it was bad and she was going to be scheduled to have her little itty bitty belly sliced and diced and re-ordered. And all week, and the 2 weeks before I spent worrying, and waiting, and imagining, and trying to cope, and trying to be distracted, and trying not to live in the worry-waiting filled moments.

But I had too, I had to live in those moments, because what if she really was sick, then I needed to purposefully soak up every moment.  So I spent weeks waiting everyday until I put the girls to bed, so that I could finally cry out every tear I had stored up that day. 

And here's the whole thing with worrying, that I struggled with all week.  Jesus specifically tells us NOT to worry in Matthew 6. And it wasn't as if I didn't trust God to take care of my baby girl, that's not what I was worried about.  It's not that I didn't know that every tear I cried was caught in the palm of my Savior's nail scarred hand.  What had me in a tailspin was that I am not naive enough to think that because I call myself a Christian that nothing "bad" can happen to me or my kids. The Bible never assures believers that they will have an easy-peasy life of carefree days...quite the opposite in fact.  God reminds me over and over in His word that He is concerned with my character, not my comfort. And so I just kept saying to God over and over again whatever happens, it's all for Your glory.  Good or bad it's for Your glory.   Like it says in this fabulous song, "if that's what it takes to praise You, Jesus bring the rain."

I was worried about the pain my darling might endure, what effect it would have on such an active like ray of spunk-shine. I was worried about staying strong in front of my kids, so they could just relax and be kids.  But through it all, I knew my God was there and that was what kept me from going crazy.

Then Thursday I got a phone call from my girl's pediatrician.  All the tests were normal, my little ray of spunk-shine could just keep on being a crazy little 4 year old. No slicing, no dicing, no hospital stays.  She's fine.  And just after the news, I had to jet off in my car to run an errand, and as I sat in traffic in my car, I had my praise music turned up high, and my hands in the air, because every muscle in my body had to Praise Jesus, and there was no holding it back.

God was showing His love for me.

Now, I almost hesitate saying that, because God loves me all the time.  And if Chloe were sick, it would not be because He loved me any less than before.  But just like those days where your husband comes home, flowers in hand, telling you to get dressed because he already got a babysitter and he's taking you out to your favorite restaurant, and taking you to see that cheesy chick flick you wanted to see....it was a demonstration of the love that is always there. 

My Jesus went above and beyond, and I felt it.  I felt such a passionate love for my Savior, I couldn't even contain it.

And I know that there will be days when this life brings me pain...but for right now, for this moment, it's a time of joy, because my God answered my prayers, my God answered the prayers of my faithful friends and family who were also on their knees before Him for my Chloe's sake.  Pure joy my friends. 
It.
Is.
Pure.
Joy.