If only I could find them on Craigs list...

New lungs that is.

I spent 6 months of 2009 on this wonderful (yet powerful and with some possible scary side-effects) drug and had no asthma symptoms for about 8 months...maybe 9.

I got kinda used to feeling normal, to not worrying about whther I had an inhaler at my side constantly. I loved not planning my day around breathing, or the lack there of.

Then Christmas time came...and so did my in law's house. Brian's family (sans Gram) all smoke in the house, and have 3 cats. The 3 cats alone in a carpeted house can knock me on my behind in far less than an hour, but add the house marinated in stale smoke, and here I am over a week later and still unable to leave my inhalers side. I have done more asthma meds in the last week than I have in the last 6 months. So a big chunk of me wants to say, no mas, I will not go to thier house any longer. But how crappy is that, "Sorry family, you make me sick, literally." "I'll just sit outside as you eat dinner."

Now, I realize that I was quite spoiled the months I was symptom free, and that's NOT notmal for me, but sigh, I was hoping it was around to stay. The fact that I have been "smoking my pipe" as my grandpa always called it (doing brething treatments) is my normal. Having to avoid stairs, and long walks, and all cats IS my normal. But I hate normal. I hate that my body is one of my biggest enemies.

I envy people who get to say "I don't like to take presciption drugs." yeah, me either, but I have no choice in the matter.I hate that I have to take more steriods than a professional baseball player.

I had a respitory therapist tell me once that most asthmatics don't complain about thier symptoms until they have lost 60% of thier air capacity. Now, I thought he was dramatic, I thoguht he was trying to put the fear of God into me. Then about a year or so ago, I was heading to the dr for a pulminary function test, and I was running late. I felt a little wheezy, but not enough to change my day. I ran across the pasking lot, carrying Chloe, in heels, dragging Serena by the arm, and into the office. There I took the test and scored about %60. The nurse looked at me with wide eyes and asked if I was "ok", and I said, "Yeah, just a little tight." It finally sank in, I had lost almost half of my lung capacity and I still ran in carrying a child, without much complaint. Long story short, my lungs are underacheivers, and I am apparently immune to it until it's dangerous.

Now if my mom is reading this she is probably ready to call me and say "Kathy, why do you even go there? WHy do you do this to yourself?" And she'd be right, it's stupid to go somewhere that makes me so sick, but avoiding life sucks. Avoiding life because my lungs will react kills me. I hated being the sick kid, and I hate even more being the sick mom. A 3 year old doesn't get why we can't go to the park today, or why I can't carry her for more than 10 feet. Serena kinda gets it, but she's had almost 8 years experience with it.

So, life will go on, eventually my lungs will stop pouting about going to Gram's house, I just wish they'd throw less tantrums than my 3 year old.

3 Years ago today

I was blessed, with a wonderful child. Chloe you are an amazing person, you brought a fresh spirit to our family with your craziness and joy. Thank you for all that you have taught me about having fun and being adventurous. Our family wouldn't be complete without you.

Better Late Than Never

I tried to write a post about my kids Christmas pageant a few weeks back, but it didn't publish, and I just figured this out, like now. It was too wonderful not to write about it, while it is still fresh in my mind, so here I am...finally.

Thank you kids of Shore Life church. Thank you for reminding me of the joy that comes from knowing that a baby in a manger was born just for me. Thank you for making me laugh by trying out out sing your cousin. Thank you for showing me that if children can get up on stage and preach the Good news than so can I. Thank you for the utter joy of watching you. Thank you for the smiles, the laughs and the tears.

Thank you Serena for sharing the word of God with a room full of people. Thank you for pushing past your nerves to shine for Jesus. Thank you, that as I watched you, I was filled with joy (and sadness) at how much you have grown. Thank you for being the most itty bitty cow ever in 2005, and a radiant angel in 2009. Thank you for being the best reason I have ever had to be the woman God made me to be. Thank you for being an everyday example of God's grace in my life. Thank you for bringing peace into our family. Thank you for being my daughter, and always forgiving my shortcomings as your mom.

Thank you Chloe for being a brave little dove, while keeping it gangsta with the backwards hat. Thank you for standing there as an innocent child with your finger in your mouth and a glimmer in your eye. Thank you for the joy you bring by just being you. As I watched you, I saw your sister 4 years ago, just as tiny, but so different. Thank you for being an instrument of God, to teach me to be patient, and flexible, and joyous. Thank you for matching the meaning of you name, and always blooming. Thank you for being born to me.

Thank you Jesus for doing such an absurd act as giving up your rights, being born in a humiliating way, and dying in complete shame, because you love me. Thank you for all the Christmas activities that remind me of you, and help me see you in the ones that don't. Help me to be as joyous as a child as I ponder your birth. Thank you for the blessings, and thank you for the troubles that hurt, but brought me closer to you. Thank you, that to you, I was worth redeeming; no matter the cost. Thank you for sharing your love through a cradle and a cross.

If only this season would last a bit longer....

It's been a while

So I realized I haven't blogged in a bazillion years. I have been so busy, I honestly haven't really had time to sit and think. It has been madness, and I seriously am hoping to come down with something at this point just to be forced to cut things out of my agenda. I have been overwhelmed and under rested, which is a bad combination for me. I don't handle lack of sleep well. I am have been trying my hardest to not erupt all over my family in moments of stress.
There isn't anything major plaguing me, just a bunch of little things all together. My poor husband has been in pain for a week due to a bad tooth, it is being fixed Thursday thanks to the kindness of my church family, but seeing him in pain and not being able to fix it myself sucks. We're trying to figure out what on earth to do for Chloe's dental issues, and how much she really needs vs how much the last dentist just wanted to bill for. I have been working on curriculum stuff a lot lately, but feel like I haven't really made any headway. The holidays and Chloe's birthday are fast approaching and I feel like I have nothing to show for it. Have we gotten any shopping done, nope! DO I have anything ready for Chloe's party? Nope! Money I was counting on for both of those went to pay bills and fix the car. So is life, I am figuring out, but not a fun part of it. I always want to spoil my friends, family and kids rotten at Christmas to express my love and gratitude, but money gets tight around this time of year, and thusly so does holiday spending. Serena is asking for a dog, which I would love to get for her, but that's just another expense we can't really take on, so she'll be let down at Christmas. I am in the midst of planning for Serena's class thanksgiving party, which makes me happy but it's just something else on my plate right now.
I am in need of rest and unfortunately I'll have to pencil it in for January. I feel bad even writing this blog, after all there are people all around me suffering and having actual problems. Just take this post as a proverbial scream to let the steam out.

This is the Day, that the Lord has made

I had such an amazing day.

We started with rushing off to get to my nephew's soccer game, which was awesome. I loved watching my little man run around, calling "over here!" to his team-mates, and even scoring a goal!

We then went to the pumpkin patch with my Sister in Law, Brother in Law, and 2 of my nephews. The kids ran around and played, and enjoyed each others company.

The game was in Norco, so I told Serena she could bring one of her news books for the long car ride. ( We bought her a 3 pack of Junie B. First Grader books at her school's book fair this week, and I told her that when she finished all 3 we'd take her to Chuck E Cheese). It's a beginners chapter book, so it still has some pictures, but it is a lot of writing. She loves them. She read quietly to herself in the car ride there and the car ride home and then announced as we neared home "I'm done." Yeah she finished a chapter book in the car. That's my girl.

We then went on a hunt for a Halloween costume for Brian, going all over town. After finally having found a costume, we were starving for lunch, and headed to Burger King. We asked the girls what they wanted, then Chloe proceeded to give us pretend chicken. She gave some to me and I ate it, she gave some to Brian and he ate it. Well, Serena decided to take some of this pretend chicken out of Chloe's hand, and Chloe BURST into tears, "See-yah took my chicken!" Did I mention it was pretend, and non-existent? So what are Chloe's loving and thoughtful parents doing...laughing. Who cries over PRETEND chicken?? So then we say, jokingly "Geez Serena, give her the chicken back!" Serena puts the pretend chicken (i.e AIR) back into Chloe's hand and she then cries louder "That's not my chicken!". So now I am hysterically laughing and unable to keep it from Chloe seeing me. I can't help it. She is literally crying over air.

After we finish lunch, we get home, settle down, Brian gets ready to go to a poker game, and I look for Serena's old Minnie Mouse costume to use for Chloe's Halloween costume. I pulled out the bags and had a good cry over Serena's size 3 clothes, which I completely remember her having, and wearing, and where she wore them too. She's 7 1/2, and I still remember every single size 3t outfit, and how she looked in it. I think I have a problem, especially when I cry over it. But sigh, she keeps growing, even with how excited I was over her finishing a chapter book in the car, I still cried over her not being 3 anymore.

But, it was a good day, tears and all.

"Daddy went roller skating. He said WEEEE"

That's Chloe's synopsis of our family day last Saturday.

We decided to take the kids roller skating. Serena had been skating a few times, I used to go there all the time back in the day, Brian was into roller hockey and quite a fast skater, and well Chloe is Chloe and is adventurous at heart. Sounded perfect.

We got there and Chloe insisted that I get her skates on fast and then she kept trying to drag me onto the rink. Who cares about getting my own skates on, she was ready! Brian and I had to split up the kids, after all holding up two wobbly legged kids is no easy feat, especially when you are on wheels yourself. I wanted to take off and go fast like I used to, but my kids had other ideas. When I finally got the chance to make a fast break, I realized I am no longer 18, and not as sure footed as I used to be. BUT I did pretty well considering the last time I skated was a decade prior. Brian was still a natural, but athletics are his thing, and I was not suprised...in the least bit.

After about 30 minutes of skating, Chloe was done with a capital D, and Serena followed shortly there after. Even though we paid for 3 hours, and only were there about 1 hour, we still had a great time.

Here are the pictures to prove it!

Life Lesson

Serena "tried out" for the part of Mary yesterday for our church's Christmas pageant. That means she got on stage, and said her line " I am the Lord's servant. May it be to me as you have said." She did good, in the fact that she got up there and said it. But the poor thing was so nervous her voice was quiet and she spoke slowly and had to try hard to remember the line she knew perfectly well. Then later on, as there was no one in the audience, she was on stage playing and she was loud and dramatic and everything I know her to be. I am hoping as time goes on this is something she can transfer from in front of small groups to the stage. I know she'd LOVE to be in plays when she is old enough for school productions, if only she'd dive in. But anyway back to the pageant

I was on the decision committee, and I was determined not to be the pushy mom who tells Emily what part my child will have. I mean honestly, who ever thinks that this is appropriate? What if we let every parent decide where there kid went? We'd end up with 50 Josephs and 50 Mary's...maybe an angel or 2. It's not only wrong, and unrealistic, it's teaching your kids a bad lesson. A lesson that they always deserve to get their way, and that they always will get their way. What a hard slap in the face reality will be when they grow up and don't get their way in life. How on earth will they handle it if they never learned the lesson with small things, like Christmas pageant's as a child??

OK, so many tangents, back to my story. So we decide all the parts, except Mary. I told Emily, it would be unfair for me to decide that part and to leave me out, but when it came down to it, I thought another kid should get the part. I know. I know. What Mom votes against their kid? Well, I did. She did so good, but someone else did better, and so she deserved the part, not Serena.

So Serena is an angel, that was her second choice. When I told her, she was sad, but who wouldn't be? It's no fun being let down. She said "So I did that for nothing?" To which we were able to have a great talk about you don't always win, or get the part, but that it's okay. Just trying out, and getting on stage in spite of being afraid was an amazing thing, in fact that was more important than getting the part. She seemed okay with it, sad, but okay. She then asked me who got the part, and I wouldn't tell her. The email hasn't gone out yet to all the moms, so I kept my lips sealed. I also didn't want her to focus her sadness on the other girl, which would be tempting with the news so fresh.

She was still sad, until I told her that as an angel, we could curl her hair. That's all she needed to hear. All was well.

Maybe as we get into the pageant more she'll still be sad. Maybe she'll be just fine, but either way she'll learn. That's more important than getting the role. And who knows, maybe she'll try it again next year?

Oh say can she sing...well recite

Sorry about the sideways view..I thought I corrected that on my computer...apparently not.

Out of the mouth of Chloe

I am in awe of my almost 3 year old. She says new and exciting things everyday. I love it.

Her phrase of the moment is "another more." She combines "another one" and "one more." It's always "Can I have another more?" or 'Do you want another more?"

She also has got imitating me down pat. I often learn what I say frequently by what she says. I already figured out that I throw the word "so" in front of too many things, and that I say "awesome" far too often. But yesterday I got an earful of how I parent.

Serena was having a day where everything seemed to upset her, and at one point went into another room because she was mad at Daddy for telling her to watch how she spoke to me. I know, how dare he, right??

Chloe doesn't like when "See-yah" is mad or sad, so she went in to talk to her sister. This is what I heard "I know you upset See-yah." She said it to her a few times. Then I realized that is always how I start talking to either of them "I know you're upset Serena, but it's not okay to_________when you're mad." or
"I know you're upset Chloe, but it's not ok to ___________ because you're mad at Mommy"

I guess no matter how much it feels otherwise, they really do listen to what I say.

Be still my heart: part 2

So I finally got a chance to go through more of "The Jesus Storybook Bible" (if you have no idea what I am talking about, go back a few posts) , and ever story left me with goose-bumps, because the author brought every story back to Jesus, every single one. As an adult I am loving this KIDS book. It's amazing, and I feel so blessed to 1. use it to teach the kids at our church and 2. Read it to my kids.

Seriously, go buy this book, even if you don't have small ones, you'll love it too!!

Cloudy with a chance of NOT BEING 100!

So today I am counting my blessings. The weather is one of them, the fact it is almost 9 am and still cloudy and chilly, is anyone else saying Hallelujah to that????????

Last night I was Facebooking back and forth with my friend Rachel about our daughters; 2 peas in a pod. And I was filled with gratefulness for the gift of my child's friends. Chloe has been raised quite a bit in Shore life. Not just that we go there, but she is always with me, and OFTEN there, at church, for something. She comes with me to Moms, to set up for Moms, to work on the bulletin boards, to some of the Kid's zones, to Bible Study, and of course Sunday Morning services. She has become part of a community of kids who's moms are also always there, for the same events with me. She already has SO many friends. And not just any friends, friends I am hoping she keeps as she grows. I know their parents, I respect their parents, and I won't have to worry about what she'd be exposed to at their house. They will model true faith in Jesus, and she will see that it's not just her mom and dad that love Jesus.

Now, that's not to say that my Serena doesn't have fabulous friends at church; she does. But she didn't grow up AT church the way Chloe has. I didn't have a car, and didn't get to volunteer as much when she was a toddler, and we didn't even have a mom's group then. SO she is friends with fabulous kids, with fabulous parents; just not as in depth as Chloe's seems to be. I guess that should be my goal, to plug her in more with kids from church.

And as I was thinking about this, I realized one of the many reasons God created the church; so that we could raise our children together. What a blessing to have a village to help with my children! To know that if my child skinned a knee or got into some shenanigans out of my presence there are so many Moms, whom I deeply respect, who would step in without hesitation and help my child (even if it's helping them to the corner). Thank God for other Moms. Thank God for the other Moms in my circle at church. Thank God for the kids who will grow with my kids in stature as well as faith in the God that created and loves them!

If you are in Moms, or in my Bible study, or my friend at church, thank you. Thank you for being there for me and my kids!

Insert laugh track here

My morning played out like some one's bad day on a sitcom. Honestly I was expecting the laugh track after each "really??REALLY???" event I had.

It was going to be a crazy morning, I already knew that, maybe that frazzled my brain a bit. I woke to thinking "Oh no! Did Brian remember to leave me the car keys?" So I ran downstairs in a panic to find that He did. Phew.

We left to take Serena to school, and I grabbed my keys, locked the door and left. I came back, and searched my key ring to find that Brian had left his house key with the car keys and had taken the house key off my ring. So I am standing outside my house, useless keys in hand, with a 2 year old in PANTIES... not a diaper... with no way to get in.
Awesome.
I don't even have a cell phone with me. So I think ok, I'll just break it. I peeled the screen off my bathroom window (Which took forever) and tried to jimmy the window open. It's the long skinny bathroom kind of window. So I push up and in and window falls OUT. It doesn't open, it falls out. Because of course a window would just fall out, right?????
Luckily it didn't shatter as it slammed onto my bathroom floor. Since it's a long skinny window (and I am neither of those things) I put Chloe through the window and told her to open the door for Mommy. ( Right about now I start to think, what if she freaks out and can't get it, or gets distracted by something else????) Luckily she learned to unlock the door months ago, so she opened it, crisis averted.

But now I had to BOOK IT to get everything ready to dash off to Bible study and then to the dentist for Chloe. I had to grab the carseat, plus all my normal junk. We're doing ok, we get to the car, I get the carseat and Chloe buckled in, but I notice an awful smell coming from my car. Lemonade had been left in the baking hot car for a few days apparently and it was RANCID. SO I pick it up, and then lean over my driver seat to dig into my bag to get my keys to open the dumpster, and the cup bursts open and spills sticky rancid smelling lemonade ALL OVER MY CAR. I am already running late. I am already having a crappy morning, and now I have a sticky stinky car. So I unbuckle Chloe (we park in the alley behind the apartment), run back into the house, grab a towel, say #%$! it and throw the towel down and drive off, in the sticky stinky car. I get to Bible study in pretty good time (I.E. I sped like a maniac down the freeway and streets).

It got better from there, a little calm time with God, a cup of coffee (Thank you Gina) and much better news from the dentist than I expected have improved my day. I'm hoping the lemonade was the last of the shananigans to happen to me today.

No more laugh track moments....please!

You can't miss this!

My good friend Rachel is having a super fun night of shopping through all of the amazing finds she picks up at estate sales. To say she has an "eye" for this kinda thing is an understatement!

Come join me at her house for some shopping fun! (And if that wasn't enough, let me tell you, the food will be FABULOUS! I have first hand knowledge of the yummy creations of this woman and look forward to enjoying her baked goodies again!) You can follow this link to her blog and check out all the deatails.


http://number17cherrytreelane.wordpress.com/

Hope to see you all there!!

Inbox insight

2 Corinthians 4:18

We set our eyes not on what we see but on what we cannot see. What we see will last only a short time, but what we cannot see will last forever.



That was the daily Bible Verse in my inbox this morning. Thanks God for reminding me to focus on you and all the annoyances of life won't seem to important.

Look at the coach purse on that one!

I started a book with my Bible study a few weeks back by Beth Moore Called "Esther. it's tough being a Woman." The first weeks' theme was "It's tough being a woman in another woman's shadow." It was a phenomenal week, one which really hit home. I can totally relate with that, because I live in the shadow of a flawed woman who's image distorts mine (before you even ask, no I will not name her, that's just wrong).



This weeks' theme is " It's tough being a woman in a world where beauty is a treatment."



Ouch.



Our culture is flooded with ads for products to make you younger, thinner, prettier, curvier, less curvy, etc etc. Even the young and beautiful aren't young and beautiful enough. "Esther" opens with queen Vashti being dethroned and King Xerxes looking for a new queen. He sent out ambassadors to every province to find the most beautiful young women in all the land, though they weren't yet beautiful enough for him, they have to go through months of "beauty treatments" before he'd even see them. Young and beautiful wasn't young and beautiful enough in Persia either.



So then I started thinking today, how much has this ideal of beauty being something I do rather than something I am sunk into my brain? Like most women I have a list. A list of things I don't like about me. My chin and nose are too pointy, and I hate the oblong shape of my ears. My face never got the memo about growing into my buck teeth, my hair is too course, and going grey way too fast and way too young. That's just the beginning...I could keep going, but my flaws aren't the point; who I am is.
I am a woman made in God's image. He created me the way He wanted me. Psalm 139:13-14 says, "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." He knit together every course hair and pointy appendage. He made me as I am because it pleased Him. I need to focus on that more than on my list of things I don't like about me.



Then, beyond even me, I was blessed with the task of rearing two wonderful daughters; princesses belonging to the King himself. I need to impart on them the fact that God loves them! How can I ever teach them they are beautiful in God's eyes if I don't first grasp that concept for myself? I don't want my daughters growing up to think that they are only beautiful if a man thinks they are (even if He is their husband, their beauty isn't based on his opinion). They are only beautiful if other women think they are (Lord knows how badly we try to impress each other, what man has ever said "Wow look at the Coach purse on that one!"; we women dress for each other too). They are only beautiful if they feel pretty that day (and you all know our opinion of our looks varies by day, and eh-uhm, time of the month). They are beautiful because Jesus knit them together in my womb. He knew their names and faces before time began, and as it says in the story of creation, "God saw all that he had made, and it was very good." Genesis 1:31.

As I face the overwhelming influence of our modern day version of Esther's Persia, I need to focus on my God's view of me if I ever hope to raise girls who could care less what anyone but Jesus thinks of their looks.

Quote of the day from our family outing

We went to the LA county fair...I'll post on that later, but as we were looking at the beautiful, majestic Clydesdale horses Chloe said:










"Look! That's his pee pee!"

Be still my heart

Ok so kind of a dramatic title for this type of post, but I really get far too giddy these days over everything curriculum related.





The books that were ordered for our first service lessons came in and OH MAN I love these books! I will be going out, soon, and buying a copy for my children. It had me at Hello.

She's a rebel through and through

Chloe was born with the desire to do things her way, this was no more evident than today.

She has a rash, on her upper arm running down the back of her elbow. I saw it and though Eczema, great. It goes part and parcel with the asthma, so I was bummed but not shocked.

SO we go to the Dr, he sees it and says it looks like Eczema but it is not in the spot you usually find Eczema. And the fact that she has asthma suggests eczema, but it's just in the wrong spot. So we're going to try Hydocortisone cream for a few days and see what happens.

Her strongwilled doing it "my way" streak is so deep even skin issues follow suit. That's my Chloe.

Ready to vomit

Friday was the 8th anniversary of September 11th (duh) and I, along with everyone thought about the feelings of that fateful day, where I was, what I was doing, etc etc. But that night I watched a show on the History channel that made my stomach churn.

There were 2 shows, the first was the stories of a few people who survived the Trade Centers falling on the Marriott they were in. It was good, hearing a firefighter cry because one of his friends didn't make it out that day was heart wrenching, to say the least.

THEN.... was 102 minutes that changed America

It was a real time compilation of videos; professional and amateur, without interviews, so the only talking is done by the people on the videos. They also played some 911 recordings. It was real, it was really real because none of it was post interviews, it was all as it was happening, people's reactions. That's probably why it was so hard to watch. I knew what was coming next, I knew the second plane was coming, I knew the towers would fall, I knew it all, and I couldn't stop it. Sounds weird, right? Of course I couldn't stop it, I am watching it 8 years later, but the urge to yell at the screen "Don't go in there!! It's going to fall. Run for your life!" was strong.

They showed all the firefighters walking up to the towers, some of them seemed scared, I saw one guy (not heard just saw) say the "f" word, just before he went it. And that's when the urge to vomit hit me; I knew these men were now dead. I knew these brave heroes who went up 100's of flights of stairs to save peoples lives in a burning inferno of a building didn't make it out. Tears couldn't even come, but my dinner wanted desperately to come screaming out.

Then they played a recording of a dispatcher talking with a fire chief, giving him a run down of every engine and ladder and battalion company in the building, that's when the tears came. She just KEPT GOING. There were so many, so many, so so many. She went on for what seemed like hours, and I knew all those men were probably dead now.

I watched as they showed people ABOVE the areas where the planes hit waving flags out the window, trying to get someone to come help them. I saw the people jump. I had never watched that before, because I knew it wouldn't sit well with me, and still 8 years later my stomach churned violently seeing that desperation. They had two choices, die in the fire or die by jumping, what kind of choice was that????

Then I started to pray and cry out to God, What did we do to your world? This is what we humans do to each other? I am so sorry. I can't imagine how my Savior felt as his precious children died in such a gruesome manner. I can't imagine how He felt with such an awful thing being done in the name of God! So many human tragedies done in the "Name of God" that had nothing to do with the will of the real God, and they all make me sick.

Such a tragedy...

Day 2

So here we are, the second day of school. Serena really enjoyed yesterday. However, she did not like that they changed her lunchtime around, and now they play first and then eat (it may just have been a first day thing, I'm not sure).

Chloe was a monster yesterday, she does NOT like Serena being gone. All day I was ready to scream back at her and have a tantrum myself.

This morning Serena put on a super cute outfit...then as we were leaving I saw how SHORT her skirt had gotten on her rear end (the Alvarado genes bring a rump with them). SO we did a mad dash upstairs picked out a new outfit, then dashed off to school to find out they didn't move the start time up by 10 minutes, though the school wide phone call last week said they would.So, we got there on time, with time to spare.

They started their morning routine of flag deck, where the kids all line up outside, they do announcements and say the pledge of allegiance and sing a patriotic song. Serena looked glad to be back to this morning ritual, but Chloe didn't like it. She was calling for "see-ya" and had a bit of a fit when we came home without her big sis.

I love how they fight like alley cats, then cry when they are apart; normal sibling stuff I suppose, but it still makes me laugh.

So now back to my routine of setting up for moms, and then moms, then Bible study. I'm hopnig getting back to seeing her friends so often will help this transition for Chloe....reallly hoping......really hoping!!

Day one

Here we are, Chloe and I, home without Serena. It feels odd. Chloe, as we were on the long (Super sarcastic) walk home from school was already asking to go get Serena. We had seriously, left her side 1 minute prior.

Serena woke up at about 6:45, honestly much later than I had expected. She came down stairs and seemed not nearly as nervous as I had expected. She fell right into her super slow-mo getting ready for school mode; it was like seeing an old friend. Then as we got to school I could see her nervousness rise.

We stopped and prayed, and she seemed a bit more, well, Serene after that.

The friend she complained about ALL SUMMER LONG was not in her class, and she was bummed. "We're like sisters!" she said sadly, which I find hilarious.

A few girls from her girl scout troop were in her class, as well as a few kids from her first grade class. But, there were also quite a few kids that I didn't recognize, so I am sure she will come home with a new list of friends.

We ran into her first grade teacher (who, sigh, didn't move up to 2nd grade, BUT still has a job, so that is an answered prayer). I don't yet know if this teacher is a Christian, I mean I don't expect all her teachers to be, but last year was great.

Her teacher seems nice and very gentle, her name is Mrs. Fish.

I am now eagerly awaiting 2:19, to hear all about her first day!

Not so wild about Wilde

I don't think that I have previously read any of Oscar Wilde's books, could have back in my high school days, but not that I recall. Well, our book clubs pick this month was "The Picture of Dorian Gray" I read the back and it seemed like a fascinating story. I started with great delight, but really had to force myself to finish it simply so that I could talk about it at book club. To me it seemed as though he spent more time describing the flowers in the gardens and the books Dorian was reading than he ever did a single character. And the plot line, I feel, could have been amazing, but it was kind of skimmed over until the last 20 pages or so. Sigh. Maybe next month will fair better?

But I am loving (well technically loved, since I finished it tonight) my Bible Study's book "The Life You've Always Wanted". It sounds like a self-help thing...but is not at all like that. It is encouraging, and honest, and left feeling more equipped to do the tasks set before me by my savior.

I got the ball rolling

Remember my post whining about the boredom with my house? (Aren't I awful for not simply being happy with what I got???) Well, I decided that I would do the cheapest thing I could do, and I got a 5 dollar bottle of glossy black paint and painted all my existing picture frames. They were all miss matched and different colors, stlyes, sizes and textures. Well now they are all those things, but all glossy black. I love it already even though they are drying, and thus not hung up. Project number 2, Brian's trophy shelf. I will be painting that too, can you guess what color? That's right glossy black.

But what I really would like to have are more shelves, maybe a bookcase, and as soon as we get our tax return, a dining room table.

We had a dining room table at our old apartment, but we also had a dining room. Here the kitchen and livingroom simply hit each other with no real dining space. So when we moved in we got rid of the table, and happily ate on tv trays for a few months. Then I started to miss the table (not that it would have fit anyway). BUT I have found some cute tables at IKea that fold down to really small when not in use, so that I could easily push them up against the wall during the day and open it up for dinner at night. I am fondly looking forard to buying it...very fondly.

I already feel the daydream coming on....

Follow Up

So I did my lesson on watching what you say today, and well, it went OK, but not what I expected. I started with the kids writing nice words and mean words on hearts and taping them onto butcher paper...which turned into a few kids saying mean words to each other...not what I intended. But I pushed on.

I did the vinegar and baking soda experiment and the kids complained about the smell of vinegar more than anything. One kid said "That was it?" Yeah, so baking soda volcanoes are apparently so 20th century, and I never got that memo.

Sigh, not what I was expecting for my morning, I envisioned them CAPTIVATED by this point. I blame it on end of summer squirminess....or maybe bad execution on my part.

Then we got to the toothpaste example, and my Serena had been the most behaved all morning (unusual having me as her teacher usually leads to her being upset that she isn't the first picked for everything ever) so she came up and I told her squeeze out as much toothpaste as she wanted. She proceeded to squeeze out the entire tube, not joking!! So I look at her and say "OK. Put It back in now." Her look was priceless. Anyone who knows my Serena knows she is dramatic and expressive with her face, it was great. I can see the wheel turning in her head, mom said do it, so now what?? In fact, now all the kids are paying close attention. They say they have an idea of how to do it, so I try and it won't go back in. It was PERFECT. So I tell her she can sit down and that she did exactly what I was hoping she'd do. The kids got it, we can't take back what we say. We can ask for forgiveness and we receive it, but that word can't be erased.

So even though my first two ideas flopped with a gigantic WA WA WAAAAAA, the last one was a home run and I really think they got it! Praise Jesus that my below par ideas didn't fail to get His word into their hearts!

Eat my words

I am teaching my wonderful Dolphins this month, and the lesson I am teaching tomorrow is just as much for me as my kiddos. The key verse is:

"By your words you will be acquitted and by your words you will be condemned." Matt 12:37

Ouch. Serious ouch.

The lesson is about watching what you say. I really want the kids to get this, so here is what I am doing to drive the point home.

Opening: The kids will write nice words and mean words on hearts and tape them to butcher paper on the correct column (nice words, mean words). I want the wheels in their heads to start churning over what it feels like to be at the tail end of a mean remark. And they are writing them on hearts because, well, as Jesus said :

"Make a tree good and its fruit will be good, or make a tree bad and its fruit will be bad, for a tree is recognized by its fruit. You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him. But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned." Matthew 12:33-37

Next to drive the point home of flowing out the heart I am busting out an old school science experiment, baking soda and vinegar. They are going to write their names on hearts and then tape them to Dixie cups, then well, you get it, foam a plenty flowing out of the heart cups. I am hoping this visual helps drive the point home once we get to the Bible portion.

Then comes the good ol toothpaste object lesson. 1 lucky kid will squeeze toothpaste out of a tube, and then I will tell them to try to put it back in. When they start worrying that they can't, I'll drive home that neither can we take back the words that come out of our mouths, while we can apologize, and ask forgiveness, it will never be erased, what's said is said. That will lead into, well how do we have a good heart in which good things comes out? Jesus, only he can wash away our sins, and clean out the junk too!

Next we'll go over Jesus words in Matthew, and I plan to give each of them a tube of toothpaste to take home, so they can remember the lesson.

Then they will make heart puppets and act out a skit they write about using nice words and the consequences of bad word, and mean words.

That's the easy part. Now how am I going to drive this point home in my own heart????

Boredom

I am bored, not with my life, but with my decor. I am certainly not good at decorating...AT ALL. And well, it shows. I have basically all hand me down furniture, so not much matches, not much really fits my space the way it should, not much is well, exciting or inviting. I watch way too many shows on HGTV and the bug has bit me and I have an itch to decorate. Great, why am I blogging instead of working then? Cash. I don't have any money to spend.

So today I reaarranged my furniture, and painted an old spice rack (that was being used to hold Serena's shells until she got a better idea for them) and hugn it in my kitchen. Now what? I have an apt so painting is most likely not an option, though I do intend on checking with the landlord on it. On all the design on a budget shows they go into peoples garages and pull out stuff to revamp, but really all I have is being used. I don't have extra furniture and decor lying around my house.

SO I need ideas!!!!

Any ideas

How do I warm up my living room?

How do I make my room more cozy???

The Blog ride and Poison berry punch

Brian had the day off yesterday, so he suprised us with a trip to Knott's for the day. We had such a fun time. Here are some of the highlights and one yucky low-light.
Brian exploring a cave with his girls


Daddy thrilled to have taken his Serena on what she called the "blog" ride for the first time. The "blog" ride. I love it, what a sign off the times. She really thought it was called the blog ride.
My girls posing as we went on the Calico mine ride...one of their favorites of the day.

Serena takes pretty good pictures, I'd have to say.

The low-light. We went to TGI Fridays for lunch. I ordered the Starwberry fields salad, and I got this. Wilted ice berg lettuce with nasty overly ripe strawberries. What restraunt would even serve this junk???

The carousel was our last family ride of the night.

Daddy happily taking both his girls on the Camp Bus in Camp Snoopy.

Brian REALLY EXCITED to be on the carousel. Don't let the face fool you, he did that on purpose!

Chloe SOAKED after going on the log ride (late in the day we realized we could all go.) Serena being, well, Serena and hamming it up for the camera. Chloe loved the ride, I mean L-O-V-E-D it. The bounce house made her cry, but the log ride she loves. Go figure.

We had such a good time. There were hardly any lines so we went on everything we wanted, and then more. We saw an ice show, and had funnel cake. At dinner we got the girls what Serena heard as poion berry punch. She in dramatic Serena fashion said " POISON! YOU GAVE ME POISON BERRY!" Completely serious, I might add. I replied "BOY....b-o-y....boysenberry punch." She replies, sounding relieved, "Oh...ok I thought you gave me poison."

Goat Hill Junction

Brian, being a sweet, sweet man, suprised us today with a trip to the Goat Hill Junction railroad. It's this cute (free by the way) train ride in Costa Mesa at Fairview park every 3rd Saturday of the month. It's run by a bunch of Grandpa's with a love of trains. It was fabulous, and definately something we will go to again. I am looking forward to spring bringing green feilds to Fairview Park...that will be a gorgeous ride for sure, but even with the Summer brush it was peaceful and worth the 30 minutes or so we had to wait!

Absolutely worth checking out!

Only restrictions...kids have to be able to walk on thier own (not that they walk on the ride, but there is no holding them on the train ride) and if you weigh more than 225 you need special permission from the train master to ride.

Check it out! http://www.daytrippen.com/goathilljunction.html

1 week + No facebook = we'll see

So as I was reading our Bible studies book "The Life You've Alway's Wanted" today I felt the tug of the Spirit. I have been so tired lately. I feel like I am being pulled in all different directions, and there is so much going on, and not very much do I feel like I can cut out. It's the begining of anxiety city. I feel like I'm "missing the forest for the trees". I think that's how the saying goes...anyway...I started to think, okay, what can I cut out?

I'm working on writing the curriculum for our church sunday school, and that entails a lot of research online, emails, meetings, writing, writing, writing. I can't cut that out, it's something God has given me to do. And honestly, I definately do not want to cut it out. I am so excited about what God will do through this to reach our kids that all the work is more than worth it. And I have a feeling that this will be the kind of venture in which the journey is just as important at the end product (Thank you "The Alchemist").

I'm part of the leadership for my Mom's group, and writing the curriculum for it, and again this is something I am not only doing for the kids, and for the Moms, but it is an offering to God. So again, no way am I cutting it.

Time with kids, obvious.

Time with my husband, obvious.

Bible Study, I can't go without it. I NEED the accountability with a Capital N. So that too will stay

Playdates, are great for me AND my kids, so those will stay (though maybe not so many)

Computer time (outside of my curriculum writing)...it's disposable. It's unimportant. It's sucking up my time. Is facebook evil? No, I love it. But it's like cheesecake, I need to indulge in moderation. (Is saying too much cheesecake blasphemy? Nope, ask my mom about the pumpkin cheesecake we ate one thanksgiving...you CAN have too much cheesecake). So I am going to try to go one week without facebook. I'll still look at blogs, and check my email...because those things don't suck me into wasting hours on end. But Facebook...soo long for now!

Now, let's see where this new endevour takes me!

I wanna go you house!

Oh my poor Chloe!

She was having an Alexander And The Terrible, Horrible, No Good Very Bad Day by about 5pm tonight. She was spent and still had a few hours before bed. Needless to say a few meltdowns ensued. She, when upset, always calls for the person who she is not angry with, for example, when I punish her she calls for Daddy, and when he punishes her she calls for me.

Today she was mad at the world and the only person who could make it better was Pappa. She calls both my parents Pappa. They are apparently 1 entity. She was crying and calling for Pappa, so big sis asked her if she wanted to call Pappa. Chloe agreed. And by time we got the phone and dialed she had stopped crying.

Then Grandma answered, and the chin started to quiver. She said something I couldn't make out, followed by "I wanna go to you house!" I burst into laughter. Even at 2 1/2 she gets that grandma's house means lots of love and few "No's". When Chloe was finished I pick up the phone and my mom was laughing and finding it just as funny and endearing as I did.

In Alexander And The No Good, Terrible, Horrible, Very Bad Day he wants to go to Australia, but maybe Chloe has an even better idea; just go to Pappa's house!

Kid's say

We were at Serena's doctor today and talking about how we might need to change doctors because of insurance. Serena knows the nurses well and gabs with them all the time, so I guess she felt free to share with them. Here is the conversation:

Serena: We might have to get a new doctor
Nurse 1: Oh that's sad. But you'll probably find a nice one.
Serena: Yeah. I don't want a doctor who's a criminal.
(Nurse #1 and I are laughing...nurse #2 keeps going with it)
Nurse 2: Oh yeah? What would a doctor who's a criminal do?
Serena: He might steal your money or jewels or something.
(I am tearing up from laughing so hard, Serena however is completely serious)


She kept going a bit but I was laughing too hard to hear it.

No pictures

Monday was another wonderfully hot day in southern California. The kiddie pool was up and in use full force. By time Brian got home it was sweltering in our house, so we joined the kids in the kiddie pool.

Let me paint the scene

3 ring blow up kiddie pool
2 full grown adults
1 seven year old
1 two and a half year old


It was a tight squeeze, a wonderful tight squeeze.

We played tea and as always I would say some excuse, too hot, too cold, oops I tripped and dump my cup of tea on the kids. This is our bath game too, but I digress.

Well, being that neither kid can tolerate having their sister dump water on their head, they needed to get the urge to douse someone out SOMEHOW. Daddy to the rescue. He sat there as they giggled and dumped, giggled and dumped, giggled and dumped.

Chloe laughed so hard she got the hiccups. I thought about bounding out of the pool to grab the camera...but then I realized the moment would pass to quickly to dash up the stairs to my room. So I stayed and watched and tried to capture snapshots in my head to remember when they are way too cool to sit in a kiddie pool with mom and dad.

It was a great day, one I am proud to say was just too fun for pictures.

The Alchemist

I read this book for my book club and LOVED it. Here are my favorite quotes:

Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own.

It's this: that at a certain point in our lives, we lose control of what's happening to us, and our lives become controlled by fate. That's the world's greatest lie.

In the long run, what people think about shepherds and bakers becomes more important for them than their own personal legends.

He had to choose between something he had become accustomed to and something he wanted to have.

Then go back and observe the marvels of my world said the wise man. You cannot trust a man if you don't know his house.

If God leads the sheep so well, he will also lead a man, he thought, and that made him feel better. The tea seemed less bitter.

As he mused about these things, he realized that he had to choose between thinking of himself as the poor victim of a thief or as an adventurer in quest of his treasure. "I'm an adventurer looking for treasure" he said to himself.

Today I understand something I didn't see before: every blessing ignored becomes a curse.

Yet the boy felt there was another way to regard his situation; he was actually two hours closer to his treasure...the fact that the two hours has stretched into an entire year didn't matter.

Maybe the world had other hidden treasures, but he had a dream and he had met with a king. That didn't happen to just anyone.

I'm going to find that damned alchemist, the Englishman thought. And the odor of the animals became a bit more tolerable.

But he was able to understand one thing: making a decision was only the beginning of things. When someone makes a decision, he is really driving into a strong current that will carry him places he had never dreamed of when he first made the decision.

Not at all. It was shepherds who were the first to recognize a king the rest of the world refused to acknowledge.

We are afraid of loosing what we have, whether it's our life or our possessions and property. But this fear evaporates when we understand that our life stories and history of the world are written by the same hand.

But there was one idea that seemed to repeat itself throughout all the books; all things are the manifestation of one thing only.

Maybe God created the desert so that man could appreciate the date trees he thought.

In the pursuit of his dream, he was being constantly subjected to tests of his persistence and courage. So he could not be hasty nor impatient. If he pushed forward impulsively, he would fail to see the signs and omens left by God along his path.

The wise men understood that this natural world is only an image and a copy of paradise. The existence of this world is simply a guarantee that there exists a world that is perfect. God created the world so that, through its visible objects, men could understand his spiritual teachings and the marvels of his wisdom.

Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of it's dreams, because every second of the search is a seconds encounter with God and with eternity.

When you possess great treasures within you, and try to tell others of them, seldom are you believed.

No one fails to suffer the consequences of everything under the sun.

There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve; the fear of failure.

Each preforms it's own exact function as a unique being, and everything would be a symphony of peace if the hand that wrote all this Had stopped on the fifth day of creation.

The boy turned to the hand that wrote all. As he did so, he sensed that the universe had fallen silent, and he decided not to speak.

"You knew the whole story. You even left a bit of gold at the monastery as I could get back to this church. The monk laughed when he saw me come back in tatters. Couldn't you have saved me from that?" "No" he heard a voice on the wind say. "If I had told you, you wouldn't have seen the pyramids. They're beautiful, aren't they?"

Grad party pics

Brian and I were invited to a friends graduation party, on a cruise around Newport Harbor, it was great.

Me, Jess (my awesome sister-in-law), and friend Allison getting down on the dance floor....especially Jess

Sunset on a boat in the harbor...what beats that? Oh yeah, being there with my hubby.

My favorite person in the whole world is the guy in the blue.

Way over due post

Here's Serena posing with some of the girls in her brownie troop.

Here is Serena showing the parents the crafts they made at the scout house.

And here is my girl, succombing to the sillyness that engulfed the girls by the end of thier last Girl Scout meeting. She can be so serious, but when she lets loose, watch for the comedy, for it WILL ensue.

More?

Today I set out to clean my house, and once again started with Serena and Chloe's room. I really enjoy organizing thier room. I love being able to see thier floor, and I love how they both seem to have a new love for thier toys once they can see them all. As I made it into thier closet, I looked at the top shelf and realized there were things there taking up valuable storage space that need not be there, for instance, Chloe's infant car seat. It could easily be stored in the garage. I happily took it down and put it in my room to get it out of the way whilst we cleaned. But then as I looked at it, I am again brought back to, do we want more?





What a loaded question. We love our girls, and some days I think I like not having a baby when it comes to planning day trips. And we JUST potty trained Chloe, and not changing diapers all day is really nice. And our car isn't really big enough for three car seats, and I like my car. Decision made, right?





But then I think of the smell of Baby All, or the sweet cooing of a baby, or how it feels to snuggle a baby in your arms. Not to mention the joy...the pure joy of finding out your pregnant, and that God has blessed you with a baby. Yeah, yeah, I know. Sleepless nights, puking, waddling, money money, money. But man oh man, that Baby calls.





Especially when your baby, who think is itty bitty does this, and brings her growth into perspective:

Anna Jean

I have been thinking a lot about my grandma lately, who is now living in heaven. She was an amazing woman , whom I unfortunately didn't get to know as much as I would have liked. Just recently I have started to realize just what I missed out on.

My grandma was a knitter, and having just read "The Friday Night Knitting Club", and having a knitting lesson tomorrow has brought back some fond memories.

Anna Jean Percival, or as I knew her, Grandma Jean always had a bag, full of yarn and knitting needles. She was amazing with those simple tools too. She knit all of us grand kids stockings, all awesome, all huge and all slightly different; I guess she appreciate the eclectic nature of her grandchildren more than I realized. She knitted us sweaters and mittens, hats, and more sweaters. As a kindergartner, we had snow day, and I had a matching set of hat, gloves and sweater. Not because my mom was rich enough to buy it for me, but because my grandma loved me enough to make it for me. I really wish I still had them to roll around in my fingers as I wrote this.

She was certainly the Matriarch of our family. Both my parents were born and raised in New Bedford, Ma. That's where half of my family still lives. My fathers side of the family moved to California one by one. I have met my grandma Kennedy but a handful of times, but Grandma Jean, she was the one to come to my events and have a goody bag with my name on it for every holiday, even when as a teenager I never would have admitted that I wanted one...though I looked to forward to them every time I went to her home. My aunt, my grandmothers only daughter made goody bags for my girls this Easter and I almost cried because she did one of the things I wished my kids could remember, though my dear grandma passed just before Serena was born.

Grandma was a wise woman; my aunt told me, as we prepared memories for my grandma's funeral service of a story that sticks with me as I parent my kids. All my aunts friends got trips to Hawaii, or cars, or other extravagant gifts for graduating high school. So she went and asked my grandma what she was getting for graduating, to which my grandma replied, "Nothing, you're supposed to graduate high school." I strive to be so straight forward and honest with my kids, as well as teach them a life lesson along with it.

I was never really close to my grandma as a kid, and I wish I knew why. I was at her house often, I learned to swim in her pool, realized I hated diet soda there, and that fat free fudgsicles were just as good....almost...on a hot day. Yet as I grew I seemed to be further from her. That is until a huge blessing came into my life.

Not more than a week or two after I told my parents about my pregnancy with Serena, I had the dreaded task of telling the family. I imagined my family shunning me, and being ashamed of me. Especially my grandma, she grew up in a generation where this was unacceptable. I dreaded her words. Well, I finally, just as we were leaving gathered the nerve to tell my grandma about my impending baby. I braced for the harsh lashing I had imagined, but what I got was "Joan ( my aunt) did you hear that?" (Oh God, here it comes I thought) "She's having my first great-grand baby! I need to call my friends in Massachusetts. I almost beat them all! My first great-grand baby!" Not what I expected at all. It was overwhelming. To be treated as though the baby inside my belly was a happy thing, let alone a joyous thing, I hadn't expected that! A week later At Thanksgiving my grandma and aunt had a present for me, maternity clothes. To know that my grandma loved me so much she ran out to get me something, within a week, I was on cloud 9. I asked her if she would knit Serena a stocking, and though her health was bad she agreed. I was so happy to be sharing that family tradition with my baby.

Flash forward 2 months, and my grandma is admitted to the hospital. It was about 4pm on a Saturday and my mom and I go to visit her. Though she is the patient, when she sees me she gets up and tells me to sit on the bed, after all, I'm having a baby! She gets up and sits in the chair, and I remember seeing how frail she looked. As a child, I remember her as strong, but this time she seems almost tiny. It was the first time I think I saw her as a woman, a human, not just my grandma. A few nurses and orderlies walked in and she told each and every one of them that I was going to have her first great-grand baby. It was an amazing thing to go from feeling like a shame to feeling loved and valued. She began to tell my mom and I stories of her children's births and I soaked up every word. She really was shining bright that day. She was aglow. She looked better than she had in 3 or 4 months. She smiled constantly. My mom and I were there for what felt like minutes, but what was hours. We went home, and I loved the feeling of knowing my grandma loved me. She wasn't ashamed of me, she was joyous to see me be a mother. She believed in me, more than I did myself.

The next morning, as we get home from church, my dad answers the phone. We had just walked through the kitchen door, and I remember hearing him"What happened? When. We'll be right there." He turned to us and said "My mother died this morning." I burst into tears, "But mom we just saw her and she looked so well! She looked better than she had in months!" She missed her first great grand baby by 3 months.

When I got home from the hospital, I got a call from a good friend of mine. Her mom had called her from the hospital and said "Kathryn, Kathy's having a bad day, call her." See, my friends mom worked at the hospital that my grandma was staying at. In fact, that morning she went up to get my grandma for some x-rays, saw the name Percival and recognized it. She started talking to my grandma and asked if we were related. My grandma bragged about me and the great grand baby in my tummy to my friends mom, right up until her end. And then, just like that on a Sunday morning, she died. Her heart gave out and she went to meet our savior early that morning.

I was so upset, why couldn't God have let her live just 3 more stinking months to meet my baby? Why? Why so close? It wasn't until a few years ago, that I realized God's grace in my grandma's death. He knew she would go that Sunday and he gave me an amazing Saturday, one in which my whole perspective on her shifted. One in which I got to roll around in her love of me and my child. I got to hear from my best friends mother than my grandma was bragging about me up until her death. I don't know why she had to go then, but I do know that God is good and His plan left room for a new image in my heart of my grandma.

Brian and I had been tossing middle names for Serena back and forth without having any that sounded right. Then just a few days after her death, as we were parked at the beach , as I cried to Brian about my anger on her leaving too soon, we decided that Jean would be perfect. That way Serena would always have a peice of the great-grandma that loved her so dearly even though she never met her.

My Aunt told me, that before she died my grandma told her that she was looking forward to seeing my cousin graduate from medical school and me be a mom. Apparently she knew this would be my calling in life long before I did. That thought still makes me smile, everytime it dances across my brain.

As I head to my book club tomorrow,and I break out those knitting needles, I am hoping some of my grandma's skill and joy of knitting is encoded in my genes. And even if it is not, her memory will shine brightly then, as I do it in remembrance of her.

Thank you Grandma Jean, Lord knows I miss you, and I can't wait to tell you about my knitting when I get to heaven!

Serena the science gal

On the last day of school, Serena wrote this thing about all that she wanted to do, and there were like 5 things about crystals. I don't know what sparked her interest, but I took the hint. So I looked up online how to make rock candy. We made a simple syrup and are now waiting for the crystals to grow. We even started a science journal. She can't wait to show her class next year, and I promise to post more pics as they grow grow grow!

My thumb is getting greener

My garden as it stands now...some plats bit the dust, some new arrivals.

My potato plant that almost bit the dust...note to self....plants do not like sitting under a dripping AC.

My bachelor button plant that seemed like it would NEVER flower finally did!

The flower Serena brought home from school for me. It did so well it needed to be transplanted!

And the end all and be all of my garden. My pride and joy. My ever reddening tomatoes!!!!! Yum yum!

What time is it?

Well, today is the first day of Serena's summer vacay. We woke up and laid in bed watching cartoons, and now she is dancing around her room with Chloe happily in tow. I am really excited to have my girl home. I started to really miss her about May...and am glad to plan fun things for her.
I also plan to use this time to hone a few skills of hers. We'll be heading to the library to enter the summer reading program today, she is doing so well in reading I would absolutely HATE it if she regressed and had to start fresh in 2nd grade. Her handwriting is need of some serious TLC, not to mention punctuation, capitalization, and writing on the lines. I find this really funny. My perfectionist girl, who can't even look at her oopses when she is drawing and when she started writing, now is content to turn in the writing equivalent of pig slop. I need some creative ideas in which she needs to practice her writing skills, any ideas? I'm thinking of having her write letters to family members. I also plan to have her practice math and have a few science projects along the way as well. She wrote in an end of the year paper that she wants to learn about crystals. I was thinking of having her make rock candy. Whatever we decide, I plan to take lots of pictures of, and so you will be seeing those soon!

Case and Point

All girls loves shoes. Even rough and tumble toyboyish ones.

Chloe has strange feet, I can't even tell you specifically whats strange about them, but basically they rule out buying cheap shoes at Wal-mart or Target. Not that palyess is pricey, but it's more expensive than walmart and target, especially for shoes that will be out grown or thrashed in a few short months.

So we went to payless today, happy to find a good selection that seemed to fit her well. Chloe was having a grand ole time trying the shoes on and prancing over to the mirror to look at herself.

Then after making our decision (flowered white sandals), we went to the car, to put away the box, cut off the tags and wear the new shoes into our next store. After we locked the car, I looked at her as we walked hand and hand and said "Wow, show me your new shoes!" And she started struting, hand on her hip showing off her fancy new shoes. She said " I a princess" and pranced all the way to the door. It was hilarious. It was a moment I hope my brain tucks away to recall in the years to come when she is too concerned with what others think to let her soul shine through.

A new pair of shoes made her day, and subsequently, mine too!

I gotta work it out...

I decided it was time to get in better shape, so yesterday before I had a bite to eat I tried to find some kind of helpful tools online. I saw weight watchers was doing a free week on thier website, so I went to check it out, but to get the free trial you have to give a credit card and cancel before they start billing you...no thanks. I remembered hearing on the Discovery Health channel about a program they offer, so I googled it, checked it out and didn't really like it all that much. But when I googled the discovery health one I found a program on the Livestrong website. It's free, and it helps you log in what you eat and then calculates calories, fat, sodium, protein, etc etc. It asks height, weight, age, activity level and goal (gain, maintain, lose), gives you the amount of calories you should eat each day to accomplish this.

Yesterday was day 1 and I was ridiculously hungry (I apparently didn't have enough low cal stuff in my house....hmmm...maybe why I need this website??). I did 20 minutes of aerobics from a video I have and I was dripping it sweat but I did it. By the end of the night a good book saved me from overendulging. But then my hubby came home from softball and pizza with the guys smelling like SUPER YUMMY PIZZA. My tummy started rumbling, but I just went to bed.

Today I took Serena to school went for a long walk around my neighborhood, and came home to figure out my day. I'm doing good calorie wise but wishing I has tastier tid bits. I should have started this plan the same day I went grocery shopping to ensure a good variety of low cal options. But, I am still excited to be doing this, and looking forward to seeing the results.