Antsy-Pantsy

About May last year the end of the year bug hit me. I could feel the on-coming end of the school year coming at me like a gusty wind; and the smell had me salivating. I missed my child. I missed having her home with me. I missed having fun places to take her. The monotony of wake up, rush to get ready, go to school, pick her up, feed her a snack, do homework, play for a bit, dinner and then bed was getting old fast. In fact by May it felt like that schedule had passed it's expiration date and began to spoil.

I enjoy having time alone with Chloe, but I missed having time alone as much with Serena too. I honestly think I willed school to end more quickly than did she. Then by the end of August I was looking forward to school starting with GLEE. After 3 months of trying to keep a 2 year old and a 7 year old happy at the same time, I was ready for a break. It sort of felt like the change of the seasons (in a figurative sense obviously, we're in Southern California, fall still sees summer heat until after Halloween). It felt nice, like a fresh cool breeze washing away the summer.

Well this year, I have that itch already, that "hurry up and give her back" itch. It hit me at the end of March. And I kept thinking, oh school is almost over, but duh, they go until June 25th this year, it wasn't almost over.

Last week was Spring Break, and I LOVED it. We didn't do anything super exciting, but we were together, we were home, she was all mine. We have 10 weeks left at this point, and I can already tell you it's going to be a struggle.

This is about the point that I started thinking "Home school". When Serena was a itty bitty baby I thought I'd be just like the ladies in my Bible study and home school, and I would be great at it, and she'd learn super fast, and she'd be far ahead of all her peers. Then she reached 4 and I realized that it wasn't going to work. She is a perfectionist, and not mechanical in nature, so trying to learn to write her letters left her in frustrated angry tears, and as her mom I couldn't be the one to get her past that. She needed someone she was not so emotionally invested in to guide her through the oopsies and mess-ups and into writing. It went the same way with reading. I was thankful for a kindergarten teacher who could teach her that things don't have to be perfect to be right.

But now, I am starting to wonder if it would be a good switch now, when she's got the basics down. She has the foundation of knowledge that was tough to start, but is now being built up like crazy. So can I handle it? Then I think, okay well, our plan was that once both my girls are in school I will go back to work, and I can't work and home school. So I guess I just need to buck up and be patient for summer. I just miss my baby girl some days.