Ask a woman that question and you may get slapped. (Unless you are the waiter who just carded me for a drink the other night, I LOVE YOU.)
But why are we like this? Why as women are we NOT okay with being our age. Or if we are okay with being our age why are we never okay looking our age?
A few years back I wrote this post on how our culture is obsessed with looking good, and youth. And I am feeling that theme well back up inside me as I sit on the edge of my 20's waiting to jump into my 30's.
I have greying (well lets be honest..."whiting") hair, probably 1/5 of my hair is white. And I have wrinkles starting to take root in my face. And lets not even discuss the equation of gravity + childbirth + aging = not looking young anymore.
And our culture tells me that right now I should be panicking, and forming a plan of action, because gasp if I actually look 30 when I am thirty then I have problems. I am supposed to look like I am 30 in my 40's, then it will be acceptable to look like I am in my 30's. And if I look like I am in my thirties while I am actually in my thirties, well I can see quite a few doctors, visit numerous department stores and order lots of things online that can "fix" my problem.
But the thing is, will any of those things ACTUALLY make me younger? Nope. There is nothing on this planet that can actually reverse the aging process. I can cover with cream and shalacks galore. I can have injections and surgeries. I can do thousands of things to mask my age, but I cannot make myself younger. And Lord knows, I don't want to.
I don't want to look 20. I was a really stupid 20. I want to look 30, because well I feel like I have things going better for me now. I have been striving to move ever forward in my relationship with God, getting back up when I fall, and living in His grace. I am glad to be 30, and I am glad to look 30.
If I am starting to get a few wrinkles, so what? Is it that bad to see lines on my face that show I have smiled so much in my life thus far? Or crows feet starting to creep in as evidence that I have laughed and cried tears of joy and mourned and cried tears of pain and that I have lived during my time on this earth?
Why is my value as a woman so tightly wound up in looking like I don't actually age when everyone knows that I do? Who am I fooling?
Now what I am not saying is that looking your best is bad. Not at all. There is nothing wrong with striving to present yourself well. But trying to present yourself as something your not, is a completely different story. I mean we have all seen the mom who tries too hard to look like her teenage daughter by dressing like a teenager, and we laugh at her. And we put her on shows like "What Not to Wear" and we tell her dress your age! But then we turn around and say, but don't LOOK your age, that's bad. Don't admit that you have ever smiled or cried or laughed or frowned, instead inject away the life from your face.
And after awhile the people who get sucked up into all these surgeries and creams and all the like end up looking fake. Looking as if they are a life-like doll, not a person. Not someone who was fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14) by a Creator who pours over the details of all of us with such care, and purpose.
Now at this point I have to confess, I do take issue with my hair. And I dye it brown to match whatever strands still hold their normal color, so go ahead and call me a hypocrite. I deserve it. But it still bothers me that there are more creams to "fix" my wrinkles then medications to fix my lungs.
And the sad thing is, I think our cultures obsession with youth has lead to a down fall in the respect and appreciation of elders. If we all look 20 when we're 45 we can pretend that we will never be that old woman or old man all alone in the nursing home. We can pretend that we will never be old and in need of the love and care of our younger friends and family. We can pretend they don't exist and stay consumed in our youth.
My Grandpa recently had a stroke and one of the doctors who treated him could have cared less what we were telling him about how lucid and sharp my Grandpa was prior to the stroke. My Grandpa was simply a symptom to treat. And one day as I left the hospital having been brushed off , I felt sad for that doctor. Because someday he will be the sick old man in the hospital and his loved ones will be brushed off when they try to get the best care for their Grandpa, that is assuming they care enough to come.
Our culture has forgotten to learn from our elders. Our culture has forgotten to care for our elders. Our culture is obsessed with staying young and looking young and pretending with our fingers in our ears while saying "lalalalala" that age won't happen to us too.
Well good luck with that Generation Me. I plan to someday grow up to be an old woman, white haired and wrinkle filled. I plan be to sassy too, so watch it. And I pray my girls grow up to be so happy with who they are, and who God made them to be that some wrinkles and sagging and greying won't bother them a bit. It will just mean that they are getting ever closer to thier eternal home in Heaven.
Great post. Whenever I start to fret about my exterior I remind myself that there are people who are concerned with how they will get clean water and food for their children. We are so blessed and we take it for granted and worry about such trivial things. You are a great example for your girls.
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