Adventurous

So my super blog writer friend Rachel had this idea of having a word of the year, as a sort of theme for what I want or who I am. And being that I love to steal ideas from people far more innovative than I, I am coming up with my word, and theme for this year.

My youngest child, my dear Chloe, I call her, my little ray of spunk-shine. I love her adventurous spirit and the way she sees a new situation as something exciting and worth exploring. She doesn't just slowly walk up and down the stairs, she likes to see what happens when she jumps off the 5th one or what happens when she slides down on her belly. She doesn't just look at a big-kid ladder at the playground, she gets right on and starts climbing. I am not like this. I spent half my day living in my own head. I have to think out every scenario 1 bazillion times before I act.

At the start of summer 2009, I was going to to go a moms play date at the beach, with my two girls. It was my first time at a beach with waves and my two kids without Brian. I kept envisioning all the things that could go wrong. I kept seeing one of my kids wandering off, getting sucked into the surf and being lost forever. I almost didn't go because of the crippling fear of "what-if". But I went, and everything was fine (except my nerves). And this is just one example.

Well, this year I want to learn a thing or two from my child. She dives head first into life, and yeah that means she gets a lot of bumps and bruises, but she also has a plethora of fresh and exciting experiences to show for it.

I want that.

I want to not be scared.

I want to risk bang-ups and hang-ups to enjoy this life God gave me.

So as of January 8th, 2010 here is my adventure list.

I got bangs.

OK, stop laughing. It was adventurous for me. I had always wanted them, but never got them, in fact I have basically had the same hair style for 20 years. So Wednesday, I got my best scissors, went into my bathroom, and twisted my hair above the bride of my nose. Then I hesitated and I got that what if feeling in my stomach. I almost walked right out. So, I said, out loud, "It is only hair. It will grow back. Be adventurous." And I did it.

I would post pics, but my computer went bonkers, and I am using a loaner at the moment.

That's just the start, I have a few other things I want to break free of the fear of and do, such as:

Loose Weight. Don't think that sounds too adventurous? How does changing your life not sound adventurous? I've attempted and failed more times than I will admit, but I will not let that stop me this year. I will try new methods and new attitudes, and I will not give up on myself.

So then what? Again, inspiration from my friend Rachel, I am going to run.

As a kid, I remember running, and loving it, and being good at it. Now maybe it was my kid way of remembering things, maybe I was as slow as a snail. But I can close my eyes and see myself running from Van Buren to Cameron street down Slater, as the concrete squares on the sidewalk flew behind me. I can remember the rush of going faster than everyone around me as I just ran, for fun, because I could.

Then my asthma screwed it up, and running brought the reality and fear of not breathing into my lungs and head. But I will conquer my asthma and I will run again. I will enjoy it too, and I will watch the concrete squares fly behind me as I go faster and faster along the sidewalk.

Then...well... that's as far as I have gotten so far. Got any ideas (other than bungee jumping and skydiving..cause I'm sure I said "adventurous", not "stupid")send them my way, and keep reading as I chronicle my adventures.

I will be adventurous, I will succeed and I will fail, but I will be adventurous.