Now that I'm 4 mom...

"Do I still have to use a carseat?"
"Can I sit up front by you?"
"Do I still have to nap?"
All which brought a smile to my face and a smirk too, as I said, yes, no, yes. Chloe thinks that being 4 has somehow entered her into some new world which was blocked off from her, just a meer 9 days ago.

But the next couple of statements about her 4-dom  left me in a moment of,Oh Lord why does she have to grow?

"Ok, let's get your diaper on (She still isn't consistently dry at night, so nighttime diapers are still a must)"
" But 4 year olds don't wear diapers." (Sad kind of look on her face)
"Yes, sometimes they do at bedtime."

Really, does she already have to feel bad about something? Sometimes I miss the time before she was so self aware.

I hoisted her up in a public restroom to wash her hands, and she looked in the mirror and said "I don't like my bangs, I want to cut them off"

Even her girlie girl sister wasn't telling me how to cut her hair at 4.

And this last one, is leaving me a pms mess.

" 4 year olds don't use binkies"

I have been dreading the day we said bye bye Binky's because she loves them so much, and I was afraid of her lack of sleep, and then her causing my lack of sleep because of missing her Binky. (And YES YES YES I know all you good moms out there are already huffing about why my child still has a Binky and why I didn't take it away at 2, and yeah yeah I know.  Someday I hope to grow up into a good mom like you.)
Well, once she gave me the green light we prepped for the Binky fairy, she rounded up her Binky's.  We called it a Binky safari and had a good ole time.  She bagged them up herself, and had me dictate a note to the Binky fairy, all with great excitement.  We made a cake and had dancing time before dinner to celebrate no more Binky's, and I was thinking "SWEEEEEET I never imagined it would be this easy!"

Then as I looked at the bag of sweet brightly colored Binky's I wanted to cry.  My last baby isn't a baby at all anymore. And it was one of the moments where life sucker punched me in the gut and I couldn't breathe for a minute.

Then she came downstairs about 15 minutes after saying goodnight, and she was holding her sisters hand trying to tell us how sad she was about not having a Binky anymore, and then she sat on my lap and cried, and I just wanted to cry too. And part of me wanted to hand them right back to her and watch her sweet little Binky face drift off to sleep, but I know, life must go on, and she must grow and the Binky needed to go. It's just one of those days I guess.