Just the Way You Are

I didn't grow up at church.  I grew up attending a church with a neighbor now and then, went to a few VBS's and that was about it.  And so watching my kids grow up in a church amazes me. You see I remember Sunday school being boring, and waiting not so patiently for it to be done so I could be the first kid to get the to tire swing in back.  And the days I had to sit through big church...were squirmy-wormy agony. But my kids aren't like that, maybe it's the routine they are used to, maybe it's that they are completely different persons that I with much stronger will powers, maybe they are more easily amused.

Or maybe it's different.

Maybe my kids have already found something, or rather, Someone at church that eluded me as a child.  I memorized John 3:16 and the Lord's Prayer (simply for the rewards offered) but never knew what they meant or cared to know what they meant.  I never pondered God's word or His presence in my life. I knew God existed, I never doubted that, but I didn't really care that He did.  I thought Jesus was a great guy, but that was only when Sunday school made me think of Him, otherwise, well I was a busy kid you know.  Lots of playing and such.  Not enough time to ponder Jesus.  Or His role in my life.  Or why He made me.  Or how He saved me.

But my girls, they love Jesus.  And I don't say that to boast about my parenting.  Lord knows I have done enough to give good cause for therapy when they grow up.  I may have helped to point the way, but by God's will they have tasted and seen that the Lord is good.  They love to be at church.  They love not only the play time after but BEING in class.  They learn.  They seek.  They ask me questions about God I never would have thought to ask at their age.  They see Jesus as I never did when I was a child.  And I love it.

And every time I see them scamper off to their class, before I can even think of telling them to head there I smile.  Because I know they feel Him calling and just want to be in His presence.  Serena's favorite book at the moment is Just As You Are by Max Lucado.  In it a king comes to adopt some orphan children, who all get so busy trying to impress him that they miss it when he comes for them.  But one little orphan girl wasn't too busy, and only wanted to talk to him, to be near him and she found the king. Serena soaks up that story because she loves to just be with people, and thus she loves to just be with God.  And she loves knowing that she needn't impress Him with what she can do, He loves her because she is His. For a perfectionist, it is rest to not feel as though you need to do to be loved. And every time I read it to her I want to cry when I see her contented sigh eyes. Because. It. Is. A. Beautiful. Sight.

And she tells everyone about God, with reckless abandon, because she loves to share her life and He is so much a part of her life! The other day at daddy's softball game she, as usual, was talking the ear off someone by us in the stands.  And she said "My middle name is Jean.  After my great-grandma,  But she died, and she's in Heaven.  Do you know Jesus? Are you going to Heaven?" Without presumption, without hesitation, without prejudice.  She just speaks out of the over flow of her heart, and her heart is alive with Jesus.

Now I am not saying my kids are perfect. They aren't. They do dumb and mean things all the time.  They are human and no human is perfect.  And they are kids and kids are still learning all about life and this hard, hard thing called "self-control".  But they love Jesus.  And I already see Him working wonders in their lives.  And in their hearts.  And subsequently in my heart too.

Thank You Jesus that You are AT my church.  And that You are IN my life.  And that You dwell IN the hearts of my children. Thank You Jesus for just being You, because that is more than enough.  And thank You that You forgave me for all my sins, past, present and future.  Thank You that You were willing to die for all my self-righteous talk, and attitude.  Thank You for keeping a hold of me, when as a child, I never cared for You.  And thank you for keeping a hold of me, when as an adult I ran from You.  And thank You for keeping me now as I try so hard to seek You and not just what You can give me.

If I had only known at age 8 that THIS is what You were offering...if only. But thank You that at 29 I can know.  And thank You that my kids can know, now too.