Forget her, I'm not even ready!

Serena has her very first sleep over this weekend with her Brownie troop. We are to drop her off Friday at 7pm and pick her up Sunday at 9:30am. It's not a long time, but holy moly am I anxious.

She is not big on sleepovers away from us. Even when she BEGS to spend the night at Grandma and Pappa's she will call, to say she misses us. The last time she was supposed to sleep somewhere she cried her eyes out the night before worrying about it. She, being a first born, can be SUCH a worrier! So as this weekend got closer I was suprised that she had not shown any anxiety over it, I mean none.

Well, as we talked about it tonight, I reassured her, that if she missed us, she could call us and come home, that it was OK to come home. She smiled and said "Or I can just call you." I agreed, she could do that too, then she recited our phone number (she is very proud of having it memorized).

Then, at about 8 tonight, she was crying in her bed, and I knew why. I wanted to cry for the same reason. "I'm (sniff) going (sniff) to miss (sniff) you guys (sniff)! Followed by tears-a-plenty. I was kind of relieved, I don't think I am ready for her to be away 2 nights either. I reassured her that I could drop her off Saturday morning and pick her up Saturday night, that it would be OK. She calmed down and decided she wanted to stay Friday night, not Saturday night. Well boo. That's not what I wanted to hear.

Sounds selfish doesn't it? It feels selfish. I don't want to share her. Next time, I can go as a chaperon, but this time I just couldn't, and part of me was hoping she'd decide to stay home. I need my chick-a-dee's under my wings, not under the stars.

Well, we ended the conversation with me telling her, " No more tears. You can decide to stay home or sleep over, either way it is your decision and there is no reason to cry anymore. You can decide, and whatever you pick is fine." She calmed down and went back to bed, and I am secretly hoping she changes her mind tomorrow morning. If not, I will just have to relax. Hard as that may be.

Sigh.